Pumpkin Breaks 4 Minute Mile

Breaking news from New England: Pumpkin breaks the "Four-Minute Mile" of competitive vegetable husbandry. Yesterday, at the Topsfield Fair, a giant pumpkin grown by Ron Wallace of Greenwich, RI, set a new World's record--and broke the fabled "One Ton Barrier"--when it weighed-in at a whopping 2,009 lbs.

In other news, Boston Attorney Mitchell Garabedian has been retained by an anonymous "prize-winning vegetable". Garabedian is reportedly suing a Rhode Island "Grower" for an unspecified amount, for inflicting "a ton of physical and emotional abuse" on his client.

Swimming in the Shadow

It's been pouring rain here all day today, so I am glad that I went for a swim yesterday at Walden Pond. Was sitting on the wall, reading and soaking up the sunshine, so I got into the water on the late side. The water was quite chilly at first, and the setting Sun was directly in my eyes. So, I kept my eyes aimed downwards, towards the water, or kept them closed when I came up for air. (Whenever I swim with my eyes closed, I wind up unconsciously swimming in the direction of the Sun anyway, so I guess that makes me a Heliotropic organism.)

Once I got close to the back end of the pond, I was in the shadow of the trees, and did not have to look down or keep my eyes closed. But when I turned around and headed back, I realized that it was taking me a long, long time to get out of the shadow. I was in a cosmic race--could I swim faster than the sun was sinking?

Gourds Gone Wild

'nuff said

(From the Book of Faces, September 25, 2012 - Thank you, Anne Crockett, and Gypsys Melting Pot)

The Future of Publishing

You can only keep up with so many magazines; and as today's Pluggers cartoon points out, as people age, their health concerns will edge out other interests. Obviously, the future of Publishing lies in producing multi-topic periodicals tailored to the subscriber's ailments as well as their interests. Herewith are some suggestions:

• Better Homes & Gastritis,
• Car and Diverticulitis,
• Christian Science Heart Monitor,
• Country Living Will,
• Field & urineStream,
• Guns & Amniocentesis,
• Martha Stewart Assisted Living,
• Reader's Digestion,
• Rolling Gallstone,
• Southern Living with Arthritis, and
• Women's Wear Dialysis.

Please feel free to add your own ideas, and together, we can save print publishing.

Playdate?

(From the Book of Faces, September 13, 2012 - Thank you, Laura Packer:)

Laura Packer: My pet cucumber. I don't know what you're thinking, and I don't want to know.

Michael D. Cohen: Perhaps we should set up a playdate with our little Rocky: