Best AutoCorrect Ever?

I don't use AutoCorrect myself, so perhaps I am biased in thinking that many of the examples that show up online are really not plausible. Unless they were the results of Sleeptexting, that is. But I like this one, and think we should all just stop there:

"Sorry I am late, my lust required several stops."

Moonlight Ride

Yesterday was so hot and sticky I barely went outside the house. But, later during the night, I went out for a refreshing bike ride through Woburn and Winchester by the light of the enormous Supermoon.

(Photo courtesy of The Salem Patch)

 

 

The Whaling Museum

Went to the Whaling Museum in New Bedford. Lots of cool stuff, like the 1/2 scale model of a Whaling Ship (i.e. the World's largest ship model), and the Skeletons hanging from the ceiling, like this one from a Blue Whale (Click on any photo to see larger size):

(Funky Pacific Island-inspired metal sculpture)

 



(Bow view of a Whaleboat--actual size)

 

 

(Sperm Whale skeleton)

 



(Sperm Whale skeleton next to actual size Whaleboat)

(Sperm Whale skeleton from the Right rear)

 

(World's largest ship model [1/2-scale] -- a typical Whaling Ship

(Scrimshaw--carvings on Whale's teeth and bones)

 

(Pie-cutters carved from Whalebone)

(Lower Jaw of a Sperm Whale)

(Blue Whale skeleton from the side)
 

(Lower Jaw of a Sperm Whale, looking down)

(Skeleton of Mother Whale and Calf)

(Mother Whale skeleton from the side)

(Baby Whale skeleton)

 

(Lower Jaw of a Sperm Whale, from below)

 

That's Not Apple Cider

Not to set off an Organ Recital, but it seems that I have some very large oxalic crystal deposits in my renal glands on both sides, to both Port and Starboard.
I believe this is the correct Medical terminology, as in:

LOOKOUT #1: Giant Kidney Stone off the starboard bow!

LOOKOUT #2: Even gianter Kidney Stone off the port quarter!

CAPTAIN AHABERDASHER: Steer her straight between them, right down the Urethra, Mr. Starbuckscoffee!

FIRST MATE: Aye, aye, Capting!

As a consequence, if I work out too vigorously, I have some unpleasant side effects:  

(In other words, my urine is dark brown, not just from dehydration, but because it's apparently full of blood,  or bile, or something.)

Besides wondering, "Am I going to die?", this means that I have had to really cut down on my excercise. But since it was such a nice day today, I biked on back roads from Groveland to Newburyport, crossed over to Amesbury on the Chain Bridge, and then biked west along the shore of the Merrimack, back to Haverhill and the bridge to Groveland. That area, and especially the stretch along the river, is beautiful, so even though it was only a 23-mile ride, it was a scenic one.

Forsythia

New Englanders love Forsythia because it blooms in early spring, before almost everything else. The bright yellow flowers are the first color we see, besides daffodils and crocus. People make hedges out of it, or just let it grow and grow, for the sheer pleasure it brings. It's actually a member of the Olive family. Originally from China, it was imported to Britain and then here. (Click on any photo to see larger version:)

 

Aprille Phoole

Only caught this out of the corner of my eye yesterday, before I got tied up with other stuff, but it's phantastic. Google now brings an overlooked sense experience to the Internet:

 

Google Nose BETA
 

Getting Ready for Passover II

If you're coming for Passover tonight, you're in for a treat. We've got so many good things cooking. I've been outside in a Hailstorm, making green tea-marinated, maple-smoked corned beef, and it is starting to look really good. Next up: my famous Matzo Ball Soup.

 

 

Die, Evil Toaster Oven...

Die!

One of the worst chores involved in getting ready for Passover is cleaning a Toaster Oven. I'm sure there may be very observant people who say it's impossible, but I think it can be done. Crumbs may be chometz, but once they're charcoal, they're not. However, in the case of this particular Toaster Oven, I am gladly getting rid of it. (Click on any picture to see larger version.)

I used to jokingly say, "Promise her anything, but get her Black & Decker," which was a play on an old perfume ad. This was back when Black & Decker only made power tools. Now they're making small household appliances, as well. Unfortunately, this particular appliance has been an evil presence in our house since the day we bought it. The timer mechanism has never worked, and it has charred more bread & baked goods than I can recount. It is with real pleasure that I am putting it in the trash (if I had a baseball bat, I'd probably be whacking it to pieces first), and looking forward to getting a new one that works properly.

Deadly Yogurt

Back from San Diego. Two highlights from our return journey, wherein we cheated Death by flying through the Air. First, early this morning an alert TSA Agent prevented me from smuggling deadly Greek Yogurt from Trader Joe's onto the Airplane (I'm guessing he forgot to bring his own breakfast to work), and

Second, the "Tornado Shelter" signs on the Restroom entrances at the airport in St. Louis (although to be honest, if I saw a tornado rushing across the tarmac towards the all-glass wall of the Terminal, I'd probably be running to the Restroom, anyway).