What to call Washington

Upon hearing that Washington Post editorials will no longer use the term "Redskins" for the local NFL Team, I came up with the following suggestion. 

 

My idea is the deliberate, serial use (in Print, and on the Air) of increasingly cumbersome euphemisms to describe them, such as: the Burgundy Barks, Coral Carapaces, Crimson Casings, Roseate Rinds, Salmon Sheaths, Scarlet Dermata, Russet Pelts, Titian Teguments, and so on...to the point of total absurdity, and an overdue name change.
 

 

 

Sunset Beach Walk

Walking on West Dennis Beach at Sunset with Annie, picking up seashells. It's impossible not to hear Gary Puckett in my mind's ear, singing, "Young Gull, get out of my life, you're way tooo younggg, Gull !"

 

 

For those who don't know, Gary Puckett was a late 60's pop singer. He and his band, the Union Gap, liked to dress in blue Civil War uniforms. It's possible that this may have kept them from being sent to Vietnam, as their Draft Boards thought they were already in the Army.

 

 

Cinco De Mayo:

  It had to be done.

 

Hermione Growth Spurt

Harry Potter: Hermione Growth Spurt | Saturday Night Live - Yahoo Screen   If you like Harry Potter, and you could use a good laugh, check this out. It's falling off the chair funny: http://screen.yahoo.com/jimmy-fallon-snl-skits/harry-potter-hermione-growth-spurt-000000917.html

Super Bowl Sunday Bike Ride

Yesterday, I met my friend Linda at the Centerville School in Beverly, and we went for a "Super Bowl Sunday bike ride". Because the Game was on late, Essex County wasn't as creepily deserted as when the Patriots play in the afternoon. On those Sundays, there's absolutely no traffic, and it seems like we're the only ones outside. It was a nice ride for the first 20 miles, then it started raining heavily. We made our way back from North Andover, taking a more direct route through Boxford, Danvers, and Topsfield, but still managed to do 37 miles total. Not bad for February, and the third bike ride of the year.

Very Hungry Caterpillar

It's too bad these don't come in Adult sizes (i.e., XXL). I could definitely use a new mummy bag, and this would be perfect for sleeping out in the woods on long bike trips. And nobody would bother me if they thought I was a giant insect larva....

(http://kbeanies.co.uk/, photo by Jenni B.)

 

Spring Fashion Prediction

My Men's fashion prediction for Spring 2014: "Pixel Pants" - shorts with a pixelated pattern that will make it look as though you're actually naked from the waist down, especially in photos:

And the reviews are in:

"Every time someone takes your picture, it'll look like your nads had to be blocked out." - eXquire

"Heh, heh, they said naked from the waist down!" - Beavis and Buttwear...

"We love it! Just l-o-v-e it!" - Guns and Camo

"If it becomes popular, it could be a trend." - Vague

"Hombres sin pantalones? Dios Mio!" - Marta Stuarto

 

"Men without pants? OMG!" - Okra Palfrey

 

 

The Latin Grammy

There were quite a number of nominations for this category. But, surprising no one, "Gregorian Chants" won the Latin Grammy for the 457th year in a row.

Cats Online

If Cats were on-line:

Cute Human Pictures - 30%

Baby Humans, cute or what? - 20%

Letting your Human go outside (10%):

      No  - They might never come back
             - Not there to feed and scratch you

      Yes - Not interrupting your nap...
             - They seem so refreshed when they come back in
             - They might have food with them

Catnip (10%):
      - Is too much just/not enough?
      - I can quit whenever I want to

Humans (10%):
      - Do we really own them, or
      - Do they actually own us?

Finding new Hiding Places so your Humans will really know who's in charge (10%)

How long to wait before changing your Favorite Foods/Places to Sleep/Toys (10%)